Five Minute Delivery – Monthly Delivery


“Thank you for calling Fine Minute Delivery. How may we help you?” I recognized the number so I cut my spiel short.
“Hello dear. I have my monthly delivery ready.”

“Yes, ma’am. Same room?”

“Yes. The curtains are blue now.”

“I’ll be there shortly.” I pictured the room. Single bed, small dresser next to the bed, pictures on top of the dresser, a couple of chairs, tv in the corner, and blue curtains. I felt the familiar tug and went.

My client was sitting in her bed hands folded over the blanket. On the chair next to the bed was a bouquet of flowers. I teleported the four feet to the chair and picked up the flowers. My client smiled. I didn’t need to teleport but my client liked seeing me do it.

“Any special requests?”

“No, just work your magic.”

I closed my eyes picturing the grass, open space, regularly spaced rows of stones, the somber atmosphere, the tree right there. And I went. I stood at the end of a grave. The stone was a double wide only half filled out with stone vases on either side. I sat the bouquet down next to the stone and began removing the old flowers.

I teleported home and dropped them in the trashcan outside before teleporting to the cleaning closet for a small hand broom.

“Honey?” I heard my wife shout from the kitchen.

“I’m on a job so I can’t stay,” I said popping out of the closet.

“Mrs. Henderson?” she asked. I nodded. “It’s so sad. She’s all alone.”

“She has kids and grandkids.”

“You said they hardly visit.”

“Well, yeah but I visit her at least once a month.” I paused before continuing, “She wants to meet you actually.”

“Me, why?”

“Well, I got to talking about you last time I did her delivery.”

“And she’s ok with …”

“Lesbians? Yeah, she’s cool. She was more confused by me being trans but she’s cool about that too. I have to get back but I’ll be here for dinner, ok?”

“Ok. Love you.”

“I love you, too.” I gave her a quick kiss on the lips and teleported back to the cemetery.

The caretakers used a leaf blower after cutting the grass but sometimes they didn’t get all the clippings off the stones. I swept Mr. Henderson’s gravestone clean of grass clipping, dirt, leaves, and bits of the old flowers. I opened the bouquet and divided the flowers roughly in half. Some flower arranging later and the stone was looking much better. I took some pictures and teleported back to Mrs. Henderson.

“All done,” I said.

“The nurse in the room jumped in surprise. “Oh, I didn’t hear you come in.” She glanced at the closed door.

Mrs. Henderson smiled and chuckled. “She’s a sneaky one.”

“Are you family?”

“No, just a friend,” I said.

“Well as soon as Joyce swallows this pill, I can leave you to visit.” Mrs. Henderson took the small paper cup from the nurse and upended it into her mouth. She chased the pill with a swallow of water from the glass in the nurse’s other hand.

“Happy?” she asked.

“Very. I’ll be back in a few hours,” the nurse said. She left the room leaving us alone. I sat in a chair by Mrs. Henderson’s bed. She held out a couple of twenties to me. I took them and tucked them away. It was way less than what I charged other people but I was compensated other ways.

“How are you doing today?” I asked.

“Eh, better than some days worse than others. Talk to my doctor if you want more details,” she said.

“That’s good, I guess. I don’t mean to pry.”

“No, no I don’t mind,” she said in a softer voice. “How long can you stay?”

“Just a couple of hours. I promised the wife I’d be home for dinner.”

“So, when are you going to bring her by and introduce her to me, hmm?” She smiled and raised her eyebrows.

“I don’t like teleporting people or animals and it’s kind of a long drive.” Most of the time they make it through fine but every once in a while they aren’t. So, I don’t take the chance unless I have to.

“You teleported that blogger.”

“That was … I was mad about being ambushed.”

“You want to talk about it?” she asked.

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

Five Minute Delivery – Black Bag

“Hello thank you for calling Five Minute Delivery. Your delivery is guaranteed to arrive in five minutes or it’s free. Boxes must weigh no more than seventy pounds. No live animals. Cash only. How can I help you?”

“I have a delivery. I’m sending the video.” The called ended and a message notification popped up The voice had been curt, not someone I had talked to before but they apparently knew how I worked. I watched the video. Gray walls, a clock, and nothing else. I closed my eyes, pictured the room and couldn’t go. Not enough detail for me home in on. I watched the video again paying attention to the size of the room and the exact shade of gray on the walls. I tried again and felt myself go this time.

I was looking at the clock when the lights went out. I had started to turn, when I heard a pop, something hit me in the back, and everything went white. When I could think again, I was on the floor. My head hurt, I felt hot, and my back ached. I focused on someplace else and teleported.

The sun was bright over head and the sidewalk warm under me. I started to get up and felt a stabbing pain in my back. I reached back gritting against the pain and felt wires leading from my back. Fuck, they tasered me. Continue reading

Five Minute Delivery – The Interview

The continuing adventures of the teleporter from the last story.

“Hello thank you for calling Five Minute Delivery.  Your delivery is guaranteed to arrive in five minutes or it’s free.  Boxes must weigh no more than seventy pounds. No live animals.  Cash only.  How can I help you?”

“Hi, I have a letter I need delivered,” a man’s voice said.

“Just a letter?  Our rates are not discounted for letters.”


“Ok, have you used our service before?”

“No, but I heard you need a video of the room right?”

A referral, that could make this a little easier.  “Yes that is correct.  Send it to the number you called and I’ll be right with you.”  My phone buzzed letting me know it had received a message.  I opened the attached video and watched it.  A conference room with a long table, about a dozen chairs around the table, a fake plant in the corner, and a sailboat painting.  I pictured the conference room and went there.  I arrived looking at the painting.  Behind me I head a gasp.

“Oh my god, you’re real,” the voice who called me said.  I turned around to see a white guy in a polo shirt.  On the table next to him was a laptop and connected to it was a camera on a small tripod.  The red light on the camera was on.

“Are you recording me?” I asked. Continue reading

Five Minute Delivery

“Hello thank you for calling Five Minute Delivery. Your delivery is guaranteed to arrive in five minutes or it’s free. Boxes must weigh no more than seventy pounds. No live animals. Cash only. How can I help you?”

“Yes, I have a parcel I need delivered,” a woman’s voice said.

“Have you used our service before?” I asked.

“No, but I really need this out today.”

“Ok, I need you to take a short video of the room you are in. Try to keep it as stead as possible and pan around a little.”

“Excuse me did you say a video?” she asked.


“Why?” She sounded very unsure.

“If you would rather use a different service, I can let you go, so you can call them,” I said.

“No that’s … Ok, do I need to be in the video?”

“No, we prefer that no people be in the video. Send it to the number you called and I will be with you shortly.”


The call disconnected and a couple of minutes later a video appeared as a message. The video panned across a small office. Two desks, lots of wood paneling, a few plants in pots on the desks and hanging, a window looking out at a city at night, the glow of street lights seeping up from below. That was enough. I closed my eyes, pictured the room and went there.

“Fuck!” a woman’s voice said from behind me. The same voice that I had been talking to on the phone. “How did you get in here?”

“I teleported,” I said and dropped my phone in a pocket. Continue reading