It wasn’t meant to be.
I scroll past my friend’s lives. Past their couple’s photos. Past their kids’ photos. Past the posts about their families. I am alone. I didn’t want to be alone. I tried to meet people. I tried dating sites. Even after I transitioned I couldn’t find anyone. In the end, it was easier to just give up.
You’re not missing out.
I still feel alone though. No matter how much I resign myself to a life alone I still feel lonely. I miss dates I never went on. I miss the night’s cuddling on the couch that never happened. I miss holding a hand I’ve never touched. I miss you.
Your life has different plans for you.
I’ve tried to re-channel my self. Into writing. Into learning. Into being. I don’t know where my life is headed. I’m becoming. I’m exploring. The world is still open to me.
Author note: I don’t know if I would call this poetry but it isn’t much of a story either. It’s my feelings and thoughts caught in words. My despair and my hope.